


Fences

by texaswatermelon



Category: Degrassi the Next Generation
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-27
Updated: 2012-09-27
Packaged: 2017-11-15 03:34:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/522692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/texaswatermelon/pseuds/texaswatermelon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>They're not walls.</em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fences

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warning: mentions rape

They’re not walls.  Your therapist says they’re walls; Ms. Sauvé says they’re walls.  But you know they’re not.  Walls are impenetrable.  You’re not impenetrable.  Not to everyone.  Certain people can see through you, whether you want them to or not.  They can get a glimpse into that fragile, mashed up, barely pulsating mess that sometimes serves as your heart.  Manny, for instance.  She’s a good friend, even though you never asked her to be.

Some people can’t see through you.  Most people don’t try.  Others just barge right in; fling open the door and take the space for their own.  Well, not others, per se.  Just one other.  Peter couldn’t do it, was too oblivious to even know that he needed to.  But Paige knows.  She’s been there.  She knows.

By now, most people know about what happened at the party.  They look at you with that weird sort of pity, like they _feel_ for you.  They want to be careful with you.  They want to try to make you feel better.  Paige doesn’t.  She tells you to suck it up, get back to your life, give a big fuck you to the guy that screwed your life and learn how to be you again.  It pisses you off, but you know that she’s right.  Soothing it over isn’t going to make things better; you need to heal for good.

There’s a part of her that you think only you can see.  A part of her that still remembers, still lives that night.  You can hear it when she asks you how things are, smell it when she walks by, feel it when she touches you.  You don’t feel sorry for her either.  You just feel close.

It’s hard to imagine your life before the rape at this point.  Hard to imagine it because you don’t really think it ever existed.  You don’t know that Darcy Edwards anymore; whoever she was, she’s long gone now, memories etched into Spirit Squad trophies and community service projects.  A great legacy that you can revisit between the pages of a few yearbooks.

Paige doesn’t tell you much about the girl she used to be.  You don’t ask because really, you have more in common with this Paige anyway.  This Paige knows you; she doesn’t glimpse at you through slats, she walks right in and sees who you are.  Maybe it’s only like this because of the common link, but you like to think that she’d be able to do it anyway.  Paige is just like that, something that made her good at being the queen bitch at Degrassi.

It’s not sinning when she trails her lips across your body.  You don’t believe in sins anymore.  It’s not acting out, or pretending.  It’s coping.  Each sigh that escapes your throat brings the tiniest fraction of relief.  You’ll never understand.  But at least you can move on.

They’re not walls.  If they were, you’d never be able to be this close to her.  What’s more is that Paige knows what you’re talking about when you ask her.  They’re fences, she tells you.  Closed off, but see-through if you look hard enough.  And with some sense of closure, you realize that she’s right.


End file.
